3/15/09

If I get this typed out real fast, I should have time to get my menu for this week created. Little A is sleeping and Little J is watching TV.

Breakfast:
scrambled egg
1 cup oatmeal
6 oz raspberries
1 cup milk in oatmeal, coffee, eggs

Lunch:
4 oz round steak
1 cup quinoa
1 cup salad
1 cup asparagus

I was a stoplight away from choosing something different for lunch. I knew I wouldn't enjoy what I wanted. I really want sweet treats.

Supper: Probably chicken and maybe I'll make a soup or something

I'm parenting alone today, again. Pray for sanity all day. I have things to do that will take us out: church, moving boxes into the new house, going to Goodwill. All that will probably take me all afternoon. It's always best to be busy. It's after weekends like this that I welcome work on Monday.

Need to talk to C about berries. What's the difference between craving and enjoying? I'm on the fence about blueberries. It's possible I crave them.

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Shit, shit, shit, shit.............

Well, I wondered if I need OA. I wondered if I could do this alone, I've done so well. Nope. I wondered if I was a compulsive overeater. I don't know. But I do know that food controls me and sugar will kill me if I let it. And it's for this reason that I have chosen this new path to freedom.

Old Rachel came out for a frolic. She ate ice cream, a non-abstinent supper and a sweet afterwards. And her knuckles dragged on the ground with tiredness. She was cranky and depressed about the choices.

I'm grateful that we go to sleep and wake to a new day. I need a new day. And I have stronger convictions about what I need to do.